


Step Into Another Day

by katling



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Blind Character, Everybody Lives, M/M, Nobody - Freeform, Nobody died, POV Multiple, because that ending killed me, handwavy medical stuff, remember that - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-02 11:21:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 19,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10943478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katling/pseuds/katling
Summary: Obligatory 'What do you mean they all died at the end of the movie? Lies, I tell you! Lies!' everybody lives AU.Rogue One survive Scarif. Just. In the aftermath, they heal and learn to live as their own little unique dysfunctional found family.Be warned. Lots of introspection, philosophical thoughts and fluff ahead!





	1. Chapter 1

In another universe, Bodhi Rook stared at the grenade that landed in the ship with a mix of fear and despair as it exploded and didn’t pick it up and toss it back out with a sharp, kneejerk motion.

In another universe, Chirrut Imwe pushed the switch into position then was cut down when he turned to walk away instead of dropping down into the meagre cover that the podium offered.

In another universe, Baze Malbus died in a hail of fire to join Chirrut in the Force. In another universe, Cassian Andor and Jyn Erso died on a beach in a wave of fire.

But that didn’t happen here.

Though when Bodhi woke to the scent of antiseptic and the sight of clean white walls, he kind of wished it had. For all that he’d managed to throw the grenade out of the ship, he hadn’t been able to avoid the entirety of the blast. At the time, he’d counted himself lucky that he was more or less in one piece and the ship had retained enough structural integrity to not only fly but to subsequently go to lightspeed. Now though, the pain of his wounds, though largely healed by the bacta he vaguely remembered, made him groan and wish for the oblivion of unconsciousness.

“Bodhi?”

He turned his head as much as he dared and saw Jyn sitting in a chair beside his bed. She looked tired and a bit battered still and there was a set of crutches leaning against the wall nearby but she was smiling and there was a peace about her that he’d never seen before.

“Jyn?” 

He coughed and she immediately leaned over and picked up a cup of water sitting on the table beside his bed. She helped him take a sip then set the cup aside.

“Welcome back,” Jyn said, her smile widening a little.

Bodhi stared at her as he struggled to marshal his thoughts. It had been difficult to do that since Bor Gullet trawled through his head and the pain wasn’t helping.

“The signal? The plans?” he asked.

Jyn’s smile dimmed a little to be replaced with worry and he began to panic. “We sent the signal. The Resistance got the plans.” She hesitated. “They destroyed the Death Star yesterday.”

Bodhi sucked in a breath. “They did?” he asked, sounding stunned and so very young.

Jyn’s smile returned and she nodded. “They did.”

Bodhi closed his eyes for a moment. They’d destroyed the Death Star. It had all been worth it. He opened his eyes again.

“The others?”

Jyn sobered. “Baze and Chirrut are still in the bacta tanks but the medics say they’ll be fine. Cassian’s in the next bed but he’s finally asleep.” She smiled again. “He’s been worried about you.”

Bodhi turned to look the other way and saw that she was right. Cassian was lying asleep in the next bed, his head tilted towards Bodhi like he’d fallen asleep watching him. A smile twitched over his face before he turned back to Jyn.

“Kay?”

Jyn sobered and shook her head. “He… he didn’t make it. But he’s the reason Cassian and I succeeded.”

Bodhi closed his eyes. So they hadn’t all made it back. He looked over at Cassian for a moment then back at Jyn. “How… How’s Cassian…?”

Jyn grimaced. “He… won’t talk about it.”

Bodhi nodded then a little whimper escaped him as that sent a jolt of pain through him. Jyn’s eyes widened and she called for a medic. One became three and there was a lot of fussing that left Bodhi confused and doped up to his eyeballs. He didn’t mind the latter because no pain was much nicer than pain but the former…

“What… why are they…?”

Jyn gave him a wry, rather self-deprecating smile. “Apparently we’re heroes.” She chuckled when Bodhi’s eyes widened. “Yeah. It’s a bit like that. But the princess has made it very plain that if not for us, they would never have known how to destroy the Death Star. They’re talking about a medal ceremony for us. There’s one being held today for the ones who did the actual destroying but they want to do another one for us once we’re all back on our feet.”

Bodhi felt a bit lost and his breath caught in his chest. “But I… I’m just the pilot.”

Jyn’s smile softened. “Yes, you’re the pilot. The one who got the message out. My father was right to trust you.”

Bodhi’s eyes widened and he swallowed hard past the sudden lump in his throat. He would have said something but by then the painkillers were taking effect and he slid into darkness to the feel of Jyn’s hands brushing through his hair.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bodhi and Cassian talk and Jyn is apparently a pain in Cassian’s arse. (Is this news? :D)

When Bodhi woke again, he was still in the medbay but the lighting had been dimmed enough that he suspected it was night or at least the night cycle. He wasn’t sure if they were on a planet or a ship. Jyn was no longer sitting beside him but when he turned his head, Cassian was awake and sitting up in his bed, reading a datapad with the aid of a small bedside light.

“Cassian?” he whispered but it was enough.

Cassian immediately tossed the datapad on the bed and shifted awkwardly to face Bodhi. For moment he stared so intensely at Bodhi that he was afraid he’d done something wrong then the planes of Cassian’s face softened marginally and that small half-smile appeared.

“Good to see you awake, pilot.”

Bodhi managed a fractured sort of smile in return. “We made it.” He winced as he remembered that not _all_ of them had but Cassian was nodding.

“Yes, we did.” He nodded towards the bed opposite Bodhi’s. “Baze is here. Chirrut is still in the tank but they think they’ll pull him out tomorrow.”

“How badly were they hurt?” Bodhi asked with some trepidation.

“Blaster wounds,” Cassian replied. “And a grenade went off nearby when Baze was trying to get Chirrut to better cover. They were in bad shape when we got to them.” He cocked his head slightly. “You don’t remember?”

Bodhi frowned. “I… no.” He shuddered. “Should I? I mean…”

Cassian’s lips twitched, though Bodhi wasn’t sure whether it was meant to be an attempt at a smile or something else. “No, it’s fine. You were hurt worse than we thought. I’m surprised you were able to pilot the ship so well.”

Bodhi’s chin jerked up even though he knew Cassian’s words hadn’t been any type of criticism. “I’m a good pilot. I… I’d have tested for the TIE fighter program except…”

“Except?”

“They didn’t take people like me,” he whispered. 

Cassian cocked his head. Bodhi couldn’t read his expression. “People like you?”

“Who… who only joined because there wasn’t much other choice,” Bodhi replied softly. “I had to earn money for my mother and the Empire paid well.”

He picked at the blanket for a moment before he dared to look over at Cassian. He’d heard the story Cassian had told Jyn about what had happened to him and his family at the hands of the Empire and he wondered if Cassian thought he was weak for giving in instead of fighting like he had. But when he looked, Cassian’s expression was calm and even understanding.

“Where is your mother?”

Bodhi’s breath caught and his eyes stung. “She… she was on Jedha.” He hadn’t dared to go anywhere near her when he been trying to find Saw Gerrera and now… it was too late.

Cassian levered himself off his bed and stumbled over to sit on the edge of Bodhi’s bed. He took Bodhi’s hand and he clung tightly to the unexpected source of comfort.

“I’m sorry,” Cassian said.

“There was no work for a pilot or a mechanic on Jedha,” Bodhi said with a hitched breath. “Not unless it was with the Empire. Unless I wanted to leave the planet entirely.”

“How did you meet Galen?”

Bodhi managed a small smile that immediately fell away. “I was piloting cargo ships to Eadu. He… he used to spend a lot of time on the landing pads. I thought he was overseeing things at first but I think he… just liked getting away as much as was possible.” He drew in a shuddering breath and looked up at Cassian. “What… what happens now?”

Cassian looked down at their joined hands. “We heal. Then… well, it’s up to you. Mon Mothma came to see us. Jyn and I were the only ones awake. She made it plain that you’re all welcome to join the Rebellion if that’s what you want. Otherwise, we’ll see you to wherever you want to go.”

“I want to stay,” Bodhi said immediately.

“Are you sure?”

Bodhi nodded. “Yes. I… I have a lot to make up for. I can do that with the Rebellion.”

Cassian stared at him silently for a moment then shook his head with a small smile. “I think you did that already.”

Bodhi frowned. “I still want to join.”

Cassian nodded and looked away for a moment. When he turned back, he seemed somehow easier and lighter. “Good… good. I’m sure they’ll let you do more than fly cargo ships too.”

“I want to fly your missions,” Bodhi said without thinking then he blushed and looked away. “Um. If that’d be okay. I just… thought we all worked well together.”

Silence greeted his babble then Cassian reached over with his free hand and turned his head back to face him. He looked quietly amused.

“Jyn’s already made that observation.” His smile widened a little. “And all but talked Mon Mothma into it.” He raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure I had any say in the matter.”

Bodhi smiled. “She’s… um… determined.”

“That’s one word for it,” Cassian said dryly. “I was going to say a pain in my arse.”

Bodhi giggled at that and then clapped a hand over his mouth. But Cassian was smiling and looking relaxed so he didn’t mind so much.

“What about Baze and Chirrut?” he asked.

Cassian shrugged. “We’ll make the offer but it’s up to them if they want to stay or go home.”

“We have nothing to go home to. No _home_ to go to.” 

They both gave a start as Baze spoke in a heavy, almost grieving tone and looked over to see the older man levering himself into a sitting position with a variety of grunts and grimaces. They hadn’t realised he was awake.

“And Chirrut would say that the Force brought us together for a reason.” Baze paused and rolled his eyes. “The fool.”

“Rogue One,” Bodhi whispered happily. It felt good to say that. It felt a little like home.

Cassian nodded as he looked between Bodhi and Baze. There was something thoughtful in his expression then his face cleared.

“They’ll say yes.” Bodhi gave him a confused look and he continued, “The Rebellion. We’d be too versatile as a team for them to separate us. They need this.”

“And you, little brother?”

Bodhi looked over and saw that Baze was looking directly at Cassian.

“Have you escaped your prison?”

Cassian looked away and Bodhi squeezed his hand slightly. The spy turned to smile faintly at him. He then turned back to Baze.

“I’ll let you know.”

Baze’s gaze rested heavily on Cassian for a long moment then he snorted. “An honest answer.”

“I do that more often than you think,” Cassian replied.

Baze looked amused and then nodded with a sense of finality. “It will be good.”

Bodhi smiled quietly. “Yes. Yes, it will.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chirrut sulks and then doesn’t, Baze and Chirrut are totally married and Cassian has some interesting news.

Bodhi was awake the next day when they brought Chirrut back in from the bacta tanks. He was immediately aware of how disturbingly still the blind man was. It wasn’t the stillness he’d seen before, which had been more of a calm before the storm, a meditative silence that would be easily pushed away for a quip or a philosophical aside… or some shockingly direct action. This was a limp lack of motion that, even though he barely knew the man, seemed horribly unnatural. And one look at Baze’s face told him that he was absolutely, one hundred percent right.

As he watched, Baze clambered to his feet, only to stagger and have to catch himself on the side of his bed with a pained grunt. Bodhi was on his feet before he even realised what he was doing. He winced as the mostly healed burns on his arm and side pulled at the motion but he didn’t hesitate to hurry over to Baze and silently offer the man his aide to hobble over to the bed they had put Chirrut in. The medics, when they looked at the pair of them, had that thin-lipped look of disapproval about them that Bodhi recognised meant they really wanted to chivvy both of them back to bed but had realised that was a fight they’d already lost.

“Thank you, little brother,” Baze said, gripping Bodhi’s good shoulder briefly as he lowered himself gingerly into the chair beside the bed. He stared at Chirrut intensely for a moment then snorted softly more to himself than anything else and relaxed.

“Will he be alright?” Bodhi whispered, though he wasn’t sure why.

He looked over at the man lying in the bed. Chirrut was awake. At least he thought so. His eyes were open but he was staring up towards the ceiling and for all Bodhi knew he was asleep. Did blind men sleep with their eyes open? He shook away the ludicrous thought and frowned at the lack of… _anything_ from Chirrut.

“He will be,” Baze said with far more equanimity than Bodhi felt he’d be able to muster.

As he watched, Baze took Chirrut’s hand in his own and raised it so that he could press a kiss against his knuckles. Bodhi’s eyes widened then he blushed and smiled. He hadn’t realised how it stood between the two men. It was good that they were both here, alive and… not _well_ precisely but they would be.

“He’s sulking,” Baze said with faint amusement, his eyes never straying.

_That_ got a reaction. Chirrut frowned and turned his head just a little in Baze’s direction. “I am _not_.”

Bodhi sighed with relief. That indignant reply, though a little hoarse and weak, was more what he’d expected from the Guardian. What’s more, that unnatural stillness all but evaporated in the long shudder that passed along Chirrut’s body. He still looked weak and a little pained but it didn’t make Bodhi’s heart clench anymore. This was an injured man healing, not… whatever it had been before.

“He doesn’t like being ill,” Baze said, the words were ostensibly directed at Bodhi but he was still watching Chirrut. “He has no patience.”

“Bodhi, don’t listen to him,” Chirrut said with as much dignity as he could muster under the circumstances. “He’s a terrible liar.”

Bodhi smiled and laughed a little. “I guess I’ll find out who’s right. I don’t think they’ll be letting me go for a while yet.”

“You can keep us company,” Chirrut replied in something a bit closer to his normal manner. He paused and cocked his head slightly as though listening carefully. “The others aren’t here?”

“They released Cassian this morning on the proviso that he rested as much as possible and used his crutches,” Bodhi replied. “And Jyn only spent a couple of days in bed.”

“And did we succeed?”

Bodhi smiled. Chirrut couldn’t see it but he would hear it in his voice. “We did. The Rebellion destroyed the Death Star.”

Chirrut drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, sinking back onto the bed with relief. “There will be no more Jedhas.”

“Jyn wants to make Rogue One something official,” Baze grumbled. “She’s already browbeat the Captain into agreeing and our pilot here was a willing volunteer.”

Chirrut brightened and he smiled, wide and impish, as his hands plucked at the blanket covering him. “Don’t let his grouchy attitude fool you, Bodhi. He’s rather excited about the idea.”

Bodhi looked at Baze dubiously. The man didn’t _look_ excited or even terribly interested in the idea. But then Baze gave a world-weary sigh and Bodhi saw the gleam of amusement in his eyes.

“There are worse things we could do,” Baze conceded.

The sound of the door opening drew their attention. Cassian limped in with the aid of crutches and there was an air about him that Bodhi didn’t quite understand. He seemed deeply disgruntled and yet smugly self-satisfied at the same time. He came over and sat down on the bed next to Chirrut’s with a pained grunt.

“It is good to see you, Captain,” Chirrut said then he paused and continued with an air of innocence that even Bodhi recognised as patently false. “In a manner of speaking.”

Cassian snorted and spared a small smile for Bodhi as he rubbed at his injured leg. “You too, Chirrut.”

“You’re supposed to be resting,” Bodhi scolded before blushing and ducking his head.

“I am now,” Cassian replied equably. “I met the pilot who made the shot on the Death Star.”

Bodhi looked at him with interest, his little faux pas forgotten. “You did? What’s he like?”

Cassian snorted. He seemed to be both amused and baffled by what he’d seen. “He’s a farmboy from Tatooine. I’d think he was naïve and soft if I hadn’t been to that hellhole of a planet.” He paused. “They’re saying he’s a Jedi.”

It was as though an electric shock had gone through the room. Chirrut hauled himself to sit upright and even Baze seemed perturbed.

“There are no more Jedi,” Baze said, his tone flat and blunt and almost angry.

“That we know of,” Chirrut said in a chiding tone.

Cassian grimaced. “He has a lightsaber.” He shrugged. “That’s all I know.”

Baze was still frowning but Chirrut had a look of intrigue and interest on his face. “I would like to meet him.”

“Well, he says he’s sticking around,” Cassian replied. “So you should get your chance.”

Chirrut settled back down with a nod of satisfaction. Baze still looked disgruntled but Bodhi had to admit he was interested. If nothing else, he’d like to meet the man who made everything that had happened to him – to _them_ – worthwhile.

“I’ve spoken to Command,” Cassian said in a deceptively offhand manner. “Rogue One is a go… if that’s what we want.”

Bodhi looked surprised then he smiled. “Really?”

Cassian nodded then looked over at Baze and Chirrut. “There’s a place for both of you, if you want it.”

“Baze?” Chirrut said, his head cocked to one side. 

Baze was silent for a moment then he sighed. “I go where you go.”

Chirrut smiled and looked towards Cassian. “All goes as the Force wills, Captain. We’d be honoured to join.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian needs to learn how to take care of himself. Just as well he knows how to take care of Bodhi.

Cassian Andor was feeling both immensely irritated and sheepishly guilty, though he was more comfortable expressing the former than the latter. He’d been warned by the medics not to push himself too hard. They had told him that the bacta had done a good job of healing his wounds but it wasn’t a miracle worker. That he needed to rest as much as possible and let everything mend. He had, of course, ignored them and now he was back in a bed in medical, paying for his folly. Nothing that wouldn’t heal – _again_ – but the medics were not inclined to let him go so easily this time.

It was late at night, late enough that all the medical staff were gone with only a single medidroid watching over them, and Cassian couldn’t sleep. He knew the droid would be happy to give him something to help him sleep but he’d never liked that option. He’d been a spy too long to be comfortable with chemically induced sleep that he either couldn’t wake from in an instant or would leave him feeling disoriented and drowsy when he did wake.

He looked over at the beds across the room where Chirrut and Baze slept and smothered a smile. Chirrut slept in a sprawl that left him looking like he was about to fall off the bed. He couldn’t imagine how it could be comfortable. Chirrut looked younger when he slept, relaxed and from the smile playing over his lips, caught in pleasant dreams. By comparison, Baze looked as tense in his sleep as he did when he was awake. He was angled in his bed as though he was trying to watch over Chirrut and Cassian was willing to bet that even the slightest noise, either from Chirrut or anything else, would bring the man awake in an instant. It was a feeling he knew well, though it didn’t lend itself to a good night’s rest.

He looked over to his left and frowned. Bodhi was curled up on his good side but the posture wasn’t one of relaxation or comfortable slumber. He looked like he was trying to make himself as small as possible and the expression on his sleeping face was one of pain and stress. It made Cassian want to go over and pull the pilot into his arms and try and make things better. It was a feeling he’d been battling ever since he woke up in medical and couldn’t find Bodhi. He wasn’t used to caring about people. He’d learned not to do that over the years. The type of work he had always done for the Rebellion had not been conducive to forming anything more than superficial relationships. At least until K-2SO had come along and even that was a cheat really since he was the one who had reprogrammed Kay.

And yet, here he was… _caring_. He’d admit privately that it terrified him. It made him want to run as far and as fast as he could and only the fact that he quite _literally_ couldn’t do that had kept him on Yavin IV. That and he was halfway convinced that if he tried to run for any reason, Jyn would hunt him down and drag him back by his ankles. And that Baze and Chirrut would help her – Baze quite seriously and Chirrut because it would be _funny_.

A whimper broke through his thoughts and he looked over at Bodhi again. The pilot had curled up into a tight little ball and was shaking like a leaf. His face was caught in a rictus of fear and pain. Cassian hauled himself out of bed with a grunt and limped heavily over to Bodhi’s side.

“Pilot?” he said, gingerly placing his hand on Bodhi’s shoulder. “Bodhi?”

Bodhi whimpered again and tried to curl up in a smaller ball than he already was. Cassian hovered helplessly for a moment then he gave Bodhi’s shoulder a shake. The pilot shuddered and his eyes flew open but the look in them made Cassian reel back. It was like he was looking at the man as he’d first seen him, back on Jedha.

“Bodhi?” Cassian said warily, easing forward again.

Bodhi started muttering to himself under his breath, too soft for Cassian to make out. Then his eyes stuttered up towards Cassian’s face and he frowned and his muttering became loud enough to hear.

“I’m the pilot. I’m the pilot. I’m the pilot.”

Cassian’s breath caught and he braced himself against the bed as he reached out and ran his hand through the other man’s hair. Bodhi gave a small start and went still and silent. Cassian winced then he sighed with relief when sense flooded back into Bodhi’s eyes and he focused on Cassian’s face. Cassian moved his hand back to Bodhi’s shoulder.

“Ca… Cassian?”

“You okay?” Cassian asked, wincing a little when his leg made its displeasure at being used quite plain to him. “You were… having a nightmare.”

Bodhi swallowed and paled. “I… yes.” He closed his eyes with a shudder. “Bor Gullet.”

Cassian grimaced and his grip on Bodhi’s shoulder tightened for a moment. That explained the confusion when he’d woken.

Bodhi frowned at him. “You… you shouldn’t be up. Your leg…”

Cassian waved it away. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not! You shouldn’t…”

“Bodhi!” Cassian said it more harshly than he meant and Bodhi shrank back into himself. Cassian sighed and gave Bodhi’s shoulder another squeeze. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just… I’m fine.”

Bodhi snorted. “Of course you are. That’s why you ended up back here.”

Cassian wanted to take umbrage at that but… it _was_ true. And it had also brought Bodhi out of that timid huddle. “Yes, it hurts but…”

Bodhi was moving aside, shuffling over to the far side of the bed. Cassian stared at him blankly when he patted the bed.

“Lie down before that droid comes over and knocks you out.”

Cassian glanced over his shoulder almost automatically but the medidroid wasn’t even looking at them. Obviously whatever orders it had been given about them hadn’t been triggered. Yet. But it was probably only a matter of time if he kept standing. He looked back at Bodhi, who was now looking worried and self-conscious. He stared for a moment longer then almost without realising what he was doing, he hitched himself up onto the bed and lay down.

“Better?” he said dryly, fighting the urge to get up again.

Bodhi nodded but he was refusing to meet Cassian’s eyes. “You shouldn’t hurt yourself for me,” he whispered.

“I’ll hurt myself for whoever I want,” Cassian said a little irritably.

Bodhi’s eyes widened and Cassian couldn’t read his expression. “You shouldn’t be hurting yourself for _anyone_!”

“I picked the wrong job for that,” Cassian said dryly. Bodhi looked confused so he patted him on the shoulder. “Go back to sleep, Bodhi. It’ll make sense tomorrow.”

Bodhi continued to frown at him then he sighed and closed his eyes. Cassian watched the other man for a while. He knew he should get up and go back to his own bed but just as he was thinking that, Bodhi sighed and shifted closer, curling into him and relaxing almost completely. He froze and stared down at the other man before gingerly wrapping an arm around Bodhi’s shoulders.

A low chuckle from the other side of the room made him start and he shifted just enough to look over his shoulder. Baze was watching them, though he hadn’t moved in the slightest. From how alert he was, Cassian assumed he’d seen and heard the whole thing, had probably woken up when Bodhi first made a noise. Again he had to shove down the urge to run as far and as fast as he could and instead contented himself with raising an eyebrow.

Baze didn’t say anything though. He just smiled faintly and then closed his eyes. Cassian glared at him for a moment then he sighed and settled back down. He could hardly move now that Bodhi was sleeping peacefully. That’s all this was.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit of Baze and Chirrut being an old married couple. Set about an hour after Chapter 4.

Baze hated being in the medbay. Between the pristine whiteness, the smell of antiseptic that permeated the place and cloying sympathy of the medics, he was constantly on edge and unable to relax. It had been worse the first day he’d been in the medbay because Chirrut had still been in the bacta tank and he had not been able to keep watch over him. 

He could now though and he sat in the chair beside Chirrut’s bed and simply breathed. He’d woken about an hour ago when Bodhi had whimpered and Cassian had gone to his aid. He’d been unable to get to sleep after that and had finally decided to sit next to Chirrut until he either felt sleepy again or morning came. Opposite him, Cassian and Bodhi were curled up together on Bodhi’s bed and he smiled at the sight. The medics would surely scold them in the morning if they found them like that so he reminded himself to wake them before that happened. They would both be embarrassed at the scolding but while Bodhi would put eventually push it aside, Baze was sure that Cassian would react poorly to it. They didn’t need their Captain becoming twitchy and reclusive. It would hurt Bodhi and irritate Jyn. Neither of those were things Baze liked to see.

“Are you watching over them?”

Baze didn’t react to Chirrut’s low comment nor was he surprised that Chirrut was awake and knew what he was doing. “No.”

Chirrut smiled. “You old romantic. Do they remind you of us?”

“No,” Baze said with a snort.

“Cassian reminds me of you,” Chirrut continued. “A bundle of No.”

Baze shifted on his seat. Trust Chirrut to slice right to the core. There was a lot in Cassian that he found familiar in himself. Much of that man that resonated with him. It saddened him because Cassian was so young and shouldn’t be so much like him and it made him angry because this was what the Empire _did_ to people. Took fine young men like Cassian Andor – _like him_ – and warped them almost to breaking.

“Bodhi is nothing like you.”

“You mean he’s not wise and handsome?” Chirrut replied playfully.

“I mean he’s not an irritating pain,” Baze said bluntly.

Chirrut laughed and reached out for him. “Such terrible abuse from my husband. Why did I marry you again?”

Baze took his hand gently. “Because no one else would have you.”

They could both hear the unspoken words of love in those bantering phrases. It was how they worked, how they expressed themselves to each other… in public anyway. Baze wasn’t given to flowery words of love but in private, he would, could and did reveal his heart to Chirrut and in turn Chirrut turned from the irreverent joker to a serious man willing to reveal the person he protected with the joker. Mostly anyway.

“Did they know I was awake as well?” Chirrut asked.

“No,” Baze replied. “Cassian only realised I was awake after he got Bodhi back to sleep.”

“Do you think he knows how he feels?”

Baze snorted. “Yes. But he’s going to deny it for as long as he possibly can.”

“He really is like you,” Chirrut teased as he tugged on Baze’s hand.

“I didn’t deny it,” Baze objected as he got up and moved over to sit on the edge of the bed. “I just didn’t act on it.”

“I _know_ ,” Chirrut said dryly. “I was the one frustrated by that.”

“You survived.”

“Barely.”

“Chirrut.”

“Baze.” Chirrut smiled winsomely and pulled on Baze’s hand again. “I’ve been dreadfully neglected, floating around in that tank. You don’t want me to be neglected, do you?”

Baze heaved a world-weary sigh but he leaned down and kissed Chirrut anyway. “Fool,” he muttered when they parted.

Chirrut smiled, wide and fond. “Your fool.”

Baze shuddered at how close they had both come to not having this anymore, at how close he had come to losing Chirrut. His distress must have been obvious to Chirrut because he was pulling at him, urging him to lie down next to him and cradling his face in his hands, pressing kisses everywhere he could reach.

“I’m here, my love. I’m here,” Chirrut murmured again and again. 

Baze gathered Chirrut up in his arms and held him close. Chirrut sucked in a pained breath at first at the sudden movement then wriggled around until he was comfortable again. For the first time since he’d woken up after Scarif, Baze felt like his world was back in some sort of order. It wasn’t completely right, wouldn’t be until he was upright and could watch Chirrut taking on the world again. But he was here and Chirrut was here and their new, fragile, little found family was alive and getting better. That was all he was willing to ask for right now and so he was content.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the medal ceremony for the Rogue One crew, Chirrut contemplates the Force and the meaning of hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some elements in here that have come from _Guardians of the Whills_ , the backstory book by Greg Rucka. I thoroughly recommend it. It's a nice little look into Baze and Chirrut's life before the events of Rogue One.

Chirrut sat on a bench and smiled as the waves of noise from the impromptu party washed over him. He caught snatches of conversation here and there and the scent of the various bits of food and drink being consumed filled his nose. Baze was a quiet, slightly discomforted but always reassuring presence at his back. To his left, he could hear Bodhi talking in an animated fashion with one of the X-Wing pilots. To his right, Cassian and Jyn were bickering about nothing in particular, in a fashion that was veering wildly between vaguely semi-flirting and affectionate sibling rivalry. Chirrut rather thought they’d settle on the latter based both on a certain little interlude in the night in the medbay and from the over and undertones he could hear in their voices right now.

Further out, somewhere in the babbling crowd, he could _feel_ the bright shining beacon in the Force that was the young pilot who had destroyed the Death Star. He had met Luke Skywalker earlier and had been all but dazzled by how fiercely the Force shone within him. Fiercely enough that _Baze_ had felt it too, despite his current lack of balance within the Force, and it had deeply unsettled his husband. He had not been exaggerating when he’d said that Baze had once been the most dedicated of all the Guardians. He had once envied that certainty and solidity, sure that he could never achieve it himself.

But the Imperial arrival on Jedha had changed things. Baze said he felt betrayed by the Force, that it had allowed such evil to wreak havoc on not just the Temple of the Kyber but also the people of Jedha, of the _Empire_. Chirrut didn’t believe that was the truth, not the _whole_ truth anyway. Baze didn’t feel betrayed by the Force; he felt that somehow _he_ had betrayed them all. That in the absence of the Jedi, a Guardian so dedicated should have somehow _known_ what was to happen. It was illogical foolishness, of course, but Baze would not hear any of it. He had let his anger rise and unbalance him. He knew it, Chirrut knew it, but he refused to change. 

Skywalker, though, had unsettled Baze. The young man wasn’t a Jedi… not yet anyway. But he had the ability to become one. He was young but Cassian had been right to say that he wasn’t naïve. He was _optimistic_ , truly believing that they could win even against insurmountable odds, but he was well-versed in the ugliness of the universe. He didn’t say it but it was in his voice when he spoke of where he was from and how he’d joined the Rebellion. He glossed over the horror and unpleasantness, not because he denied they were there or wanted to ignore them but because he preferred to look for the best in people and situations. And he positively _blazed_ with the Force. He was everything Baze had once admired and thought lost forever.

Chirrut leaned back on the bench and his smile widened when Baze shifted to provide him with a back rest. The medal he’d been given rested heavily on his chest and he touched it with intrigued fingers. He would have to get Baze to describe it properly when they got back to their room but he was content with what he could tell just from touch right now. Baze had grumbled about the silliness of it all but it had only been to him. Chirrut knew that Baze recognised why such ceremonies were important. Though both Scarif and the destruction of the Death Star had been unprecedented victories for such a small force against overwhelming odds, the losses the Rebellion had suffered were immense. Ceremonies like this one and the previous one for Skywalker and his friends were much needed for morale purposes. Rebellions were built on hope and hope needed to be fostered and nurtured carefully lest it wilt and be shattered.

Cassian Andor was a case in point. Where once the Force had swirled so darkly around him, now it was lighter and brighter as hope became more than just a word to him. Perhaps Cassian would no longer be quite such an effective spy but Chirrut did not see that as a negative. The Captain was capable of so much more, as he had proven on Scarif. He just needed to know he wasn’t alone.

“What are you grinning about?” Baze grumbled from behind him.

“Is there a reason not to smile?” Chirrut replied, turning his smile on Bodhi as he became aware that the young man’s conversation had ended and the pilot he’d been talking to had left. “Who was that, little brother?”

“Wedge Antilles,” Bodhi replied and there was so much happiness and shy pride bubbling out of the young man that Chirrut was willing to leave the rumbling and grumbling coming from Baze for the moment. Not that Baze was truly upset. Chirrut knew the difference there. So he focused on Bodhi, who was still speaking. “He was telling me about the battle and how Luke Skywalker made the shot.”

“It sounded to me like he was trying to lure you over to the X-Wings,” Baze said, sounding so sour that Chirrut could almost feel the sudden surge of panic from Bodhi. So he let his amusement become more obvious and felt the young man relax again. He reached back and patted Baze’s leg warningly. Bodhi was still too fragile to be able to manage Baze’s mood right now. The slight squeeze on his shoulder told him Baze had seen and heard and understood.

“I think he was,” Bodhi said shyly. “But I… I’m Rogue One’s pilot.”

Cassian leaned around Chirrut to speak to Bodhi. “Are you sure? We wouldn’t mind if that’s what you wanted to do.”

Chirrut smiled at the undertones he heard in Cassian’s voice. For all the encouragement in his words, Cassian Andor would mind _very much_ if Bodhi chose that path. He wouldn’t stop him though, not if that was what would make Bodhi happy. From the huff that came from behind him, Baze had picked up on that as well.

“No… no,” Bodhi said hurriedly. “I want to fly Rogue One.”

“Good.”

Between the smug relief in Cassian’s voice, Baze’s huff that became a cough hiding a laugh and Jyn’s sudden snort, Chirrut knew that the Captain’s expression must be somewhat lovelorn and that Bodhi was oblivious to that fact. He debated pointing that out but decided that it might be too soon and doing so might spook the twitchy Cassian into doing something silly that would hurt Bodhi.

“I can’t believe they did this for us,” Jyn said. She was clearly trying to change the subject yet there was no doubting the sincerity in the wonder and uncertainty in her voice.

“Neither can I,” Bodhi said, sounding almost overwhelmed. “There were… we weren’t the only ones who fought on Scarif.”

There was a moment of silence. They weren’t the only ones who had fought on Scarif, it was true, but they were the only ones who had come back alive. Before he’d finally collapsed, Baze had reported seeing no other Rebellion troops alive after he’d dragged Cassian and Jyn onto the ship. There had been no time to look any further with the shockwave of the Death Star’s weapon looming down upon them and even if there _had_ been time, there had been no one to do the looking considering how poor shape they’d all been in. 

“If it makes you uncomfortable to accept the medal for yourself, accept it on behalf of those who fought with us and died there on Scarif and above us in space,” Chirrut said calmly. “Accept it for Jedha and Alderaan. Accept it for Galen Erso, without whom none of this would have been possible.”

Silence greeted Chirrut’s words but it was a calm, thoughtful silence so he knew his words had been accepted. He knew it was the other reason why Baze – and indeed he himself – had been willing to go through with the ceremony. Not for themselves because the Guardians of the Whills had never been ones to accept aggrandisement of any sort but because it was a way to honour those who had fought beside them and fallen.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know how I said everyone lives? I really meant everyone. Including the previous Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Fic.
> 
> As Rogue One gets ready to leave on their first mission, their final member makes an appearance.

Bodhi was in a good mood. He’d slept the previous night without nightmares – something of a rarity these days between everything that had happened on Scarif, Eadu and Jedha – and they were leaving today for their first official mission. They’d been given an old shuttle for their purposes but it was well-maintained and Bodhi was humming a contented little tune under his breath as he checked everything out. 

He almost didn’t notice the clanging footsteps but it was the sheer impossibility of what they were that suddenly sunk in and made him stop and whirl around to see… K-2SO standing in the entrance to the shuttle. He wasn’t the only one staring in surprise and even Chirrut was frowning curiously, though Bodhi didn’t know if it was about K-2SO or because the rest of them had gone very silent and the atmosphere was suddenly very charged with tension.

“Well, this is awkward,” K-2SO said sourly. He turned to look down at Cassian, who was just sliding past him into the shuttle. “You didn’t say it would be awkward.”

“I said you were dead,” Cassian replied. “What part of seeing you again wouldn’t be awkward?”

Bodhi noticed that only Cassian seemed entirely relaxed about this. In fact, Cassian not only looked relaxed, the edge of tension that had been lingering around him since he’d woken up had all but disappeared.

“I was expecting surprise, elation, happy felicitations,” K-2SO said dryly as he walked into the shuttle.

“Cassian?” Jyn said slowly. “What…?”

Cassian stopped and chewed on his lip. “Kay had a full back up stored here on Yavin IV. He did it before we left for Scarif. He doesn’t remember anything we did there.” He shrugged. “I just needed someone to get an Imperial KX droid for me so I could reload him.”

“That’s…” Jyn began before stopping because she couldn’t find the right word.

“Weird,” Kay said blandly. “I went with weird. And you could have gotten a better droid, Cassian. This one was poorly maintained. I feel like I have sand in my joints. You know I hate that.”

Cassian looked almost cheerful when he replied, “We can fix that.”

“Good.” Kay stomped forward and sat down in the co-pilot’s seat. “Are you coming, pilot?”

Bodhi gave a start and stared at K-2SO for a moment. “Right. Yes! Yes, I’m coming.” 

He scurried forward and began the pre-flight checks with K-2SO, still listening with half an ear to the conversation going on behind them.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Jyn demanded.

“Because I didn’t know Kay had done that until I got a chance to check my messages,” Cassian replied, still sounding vaguely cheerful. “Then I had to get the droid. There didn’t seem to be a point until it was a done deal.”

“Cassian!” There was a thumping sound and Cassian yelped. “You could have told _me_! I was there when he _died_.”

Kay turned to face Jyn. “Did you miss me?”

“No,” Jyn snapped, looking a little embarrassed. “And the Stormtroopers sure didn’t either.”

“She missed me,” Kay said very smugly as he turned back.

Bodhi ducked his head to hide his grin. He heard Baze’s low chuckle and could almost feel Chirrut’s smile. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“I would say so am I but I don’t remember going missing,” Kay replied.

It occurred to Bodhi that K-2SO probably had it the easiest of all of them. He simply didn’t remember Scarif at all. He didn’t have the horrifying memories of the battle, of being injured, of thinking every moment that they were going to die. Of _actually_ dying in K-2SO’s case.

“So where are we going?” Baze asked as the ship’s door rumbled closed. He said it firmly enough that Bodhi was fairly sure he was heading Jyn off at the pass with whatever she had been planning on doing. “They said you’d brief us.”

“Easy one,” Cassian replied with minor disgruntlement. “I’m not sure if they’re testing us or they think we’re not ready to go back out. Or both.”

“Wouldn’t they not send us at all if they thought we weren’t ready?” Jyn asked. There was an edge about her voice that said she was dropping her objections… _for now_ … and would get back to them at the first opportunity. Bodhi winced and was suddenly glad he wasn’t Cassian.

Cassian was silent for a moment, though Bodhi was too busy with the pre-flight checks to look back and see if he was just thinking or whether he was contemplating the pending threat from Jyn. “In the past, yes. But we lost too many at Scarif and in the attack on the Death Star. Our numbers are seriously down until we get more recruits so we’re getting what they hope will be an easy mission because they need this done and don’t have anyone else.”

“Which is?” Baze asked.

“Scouting,” Cassian replied, sounding more like normal. “Yavin IV has been compromised so we need to move. We’ve got half a dozen planets to check out for suitability for a new base.”

“What are we looking for?” Chirrut paused for a moment. “Metaphorically speaking in my case.”

Baze laughed at that and Bodhi looked around curiously. Sure, what Chirrut said had been funny but he wasn’t sure it warranted _that_ much of a laugh. Cassian and Jyn were also looking bemused while Chirrut was grinning happily. He looked very pleased to have made Baze laugh.

“Right,” Cassian said slowly before deciding to move on. “We’re looking for cave systems. Large abandoned underground structures. Old temples and the like. Anything that can be hidden from orbit or at least made to look like something much smaller and more benign. No sentient life forms by preference.”

“Are we being sent to worlds with sentient life forms?” Chirrut asked.

“We shouldn’t,” Cassian replied. “But the preliminary scouting expeditions aren’t very comprehensive. Just a quick look to see if it _might_ be suitable. We’ve crossed worlds off the list before because there were people living there who just weren’t seen the first time. But on the other hand, we have used worlds with sentient life forms if they’re, say, on the other side of the planet.” 

“How many are we going to?” Baze asked.

“Six. They’re all in close proximity to each other,” Cassian replied. “It should take us about a month all up, if nothing goes wrong.” His voice turned suddenly very wry. “Which should be enough time to make sure this whole Rogue One thing will work in the long run or whether we just got lucky.”

“Have some faith, Captain,” Chirrut said amiably. “The Force brought us together. It wouldn’t steer us wrong.”

There was a somewhat pregnant silence at that pronouncement and Bodhi decided to break it.

“We’re ready.”

Cassian came forward and rested his arm on the back of K-2SO’s chair. A faint smile graced his face as he looked at Bodhi and Bodhi struggled not to blush.

“Let’s go,” Cassian said.

Bodhi turned back to the instruments and for the second time in his life got ready to announce their call sign, though at least this time he wasn’t making it up on the spot and wasn’t going against orders.

“This is Rogue One, requesting permission to depart.”

“Rogue One, this is Control,” came over the speakers. “Permission granted. May the Force be with you.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *gives Bodhi and Cassian an exasperated look* These two live to make my life difficult. Thankfully Hoth came to my rescue with its miserable weather and convenient storms. Who doesn’t like the ‘stranded in the cold and have to huddle for warmth’ trope?

Hoth was cold. Bodhi was used to being cold but Hoth took it to entirely new and ridiculous levels. What was worse was it was the only one of the worlds they’d scouted so far that seemed to satisfy Cassian. Admittedly two of the four worlds they’d already gone to had sentient life forms in various stages of development, which had immediately ruled them out. The third world was scorchingly hot and semi-volcanic and far too unstable to use as a base. The fourth world had been promising at first but while there were nothing sentient there, the life forms that _did_ live there had proven that they were not interested in sharing. Bodhi rubbed his shoulder. It still ached from the bruising he’d received after being bowled over by something very large and very grumpy that wasn’t Baze.

Hoth was a definite improvement on those worlds in many ways. It had no sentient life forms, it was stable and the wildlife was sparse and could be easily avoided if they were careful. But it was neck deep in snow and ice with constant storms raging overhead. It was habitable but in Bodhi’s opinion, only just.

Just then, Cassian returned in a flurry of snow and deep disgruntlement and broke Bodhi out of his thoughts.

“Well?” he asked, wrapping his arms around his legs as he huddled near the small fire they’d managed to start.

“The storm’s closing in fast,” Cassian replied in a manner that suggested he felt personally offended by the news. “Kay can’t get here before it does so we’re stuck here until the storm passes. “

“Oh,” Bodhi said, shrinking down a little as he wondered just how much colder it was going to get. “And the others?”

“They made it back to the shuttle,” Cassian replied, dropping down to sit beside Bodhi. “Apparently they found a cave system that looks promising so we’ll check that out after the storm’s gone.”

Bodhi winced. “You think the Rebellion might choose to relocate here?”

Cassian glanced over at his dubious tone and Bodhi scowled a little at the man’s amused expression. “Maybe. It won’t be good for the electronics and mechanicals but that’ll work for us as well as against us. And this place is so out of the way that the chances of the Empire finding us are much smaller.”

Bodhi noted that Cassian didn’t say ‘minimal’ or ‘not at all’. “They’ll be looking, won’t they?”

“With all the fury they can muster,” Cassian replied sourly. “We beat them. Worse, we humiliated them by destroying their masterpiece. They won’t take that kindly.”

Bodhi shivered and this time it wasn’t because of the cold. “Will… will the Rebellion want to ask me questions?”

“Probably,” Cassian replied. “You probably know more than you think you do.”

Bodhi hunched down and didn’t reply. Cassian seemed to realise something was wrong as he nudged Bodhi gently.

“What’s wrong?”

Bodhi hesitated for a moment. “I… that part… it’s hard to remember a lot of it.”

Now it was Cassian’s turn to briefly fall silent. “Because of what Bor Gullet did?”

Bodhi nodded and hunched in on himself again. Cassian came over and slung an arm over his shoulders. Bodhi tried not to lean into the contact but Cassian felt… strong and he wasn’t feeling that right now. Cassian didn’t complain when he leaned into him, instead all he did was tighten his grip.

“They know what happened,” Cassian said quietly. “I mean, not in full but how you were when we found you.”

Bodhi turned his head slightly. “Found me?”

Cassian snorted and looked amused. “Found you. Thrown into prison beside you. It’s all about the same.”

Bodhi managed a small smile. “If you say so.”

“Anyway,” Cassian said firmly. “They know you were… hurt by Saw Gerrera. Just tell them what you can remember.”

Bodhi nodded. “Okay.” He cocked his head slightly. “You were looking for me.”

“Yes,” Cassian replied. “A contact of mine had heard what you were telling _everyone_. We knew we had to get to you before the Empire did. Or Saw Gerrera.”

Bodhi frowned and stared down at his feet. “Why did Galen send me to Gerrera if he was so…”

“Unstable?” Cassian sighed and shrugged. “He wasn’t always like that or so I’m told. Given how many years had passed, Galen probably didn’t know how much Gerrera had deteriorated or that the Rebellion had cut ties with him because of his extremism. He was the man he’d trusted with his daughter, after all.”

Bodhi nodded and stared at the small fire in front of them. He shivered and felt Cassian’s arm tighten around him again.

“Cold?”

Bodhi nodded. “A bit.”

Cassian got up and Bodhi mourning the loss of the arm around his shoulders, partly or the closeness but also because Cassian was _warm_. The man was rummaging through their packs and pulling out a few items. Bodhi knew they didn’t have much though. They hadn’t expected to be gone long nor had they expected the storm. He then realised that he hadn’t had much in _his_ pack beyond the necessities for their mission but Cassian was a different story. He was pulling out thermal blanket packs, rations, water bottles and even a small collapsible _tent_.

“What? Why didn’t I…?”

Cassian gave him a wry smile. “You had all the surveying gear so I packed the survival gear.”

“Wasn’t that a bit reckless?” Bodhi asked with growing exasperation. “What if we’d gotten separated?”

Cassian stilled for a moment before continuing his work. “I… didn’t want you to worry.”

“I’m sure I would have been pleased about that while I was freezing to death.”

Cassian glanced over at him and his expression was so unreadable that Bodhi almost cowered away from it. Then it abruptly cleared and Cassian turned back to his work.

“I wouldn’t have let that happen,” he said so firmly that Bodhi didn’t really know what to say. He then held out one of the silvery blankets. “Here.”

Bodhi took the blanket and pulled it out of its packet. He wrapped it around himself as best as he could and continued to watch Cassian. The man was unpacking the tent in short, jerky motions as he glanced over his shoulder towards the entrance to the shallow cave they were in.

“If this cave was deeper, we’d be fine but the temperature’s going to drop when that storm hits,” Cassian said brusquely.

Bodhi was becoming increasingly baffled and frustrated by Cassian’s behaviour. Half the time he was sure the man didn’t want him around. The rest of the time he was half convinced that Cassian was actually interested in him. Though he wasn’t entirely sure if that was real or if it was wishful thinking on his part. He still wasn’t entirely confident of the things his mind told him these days, though he hadn’t mentioned it to the others. He didn’t want their pity. He wanted to be grounded even less.

“I’m used to the cold,” he said absently as he burrowed into the blankets a bit more and stared into the fire. “Jedha isn’t exactly warm and the Empire doesn’t waste resources on heating if it doesn’t have to.”

He felt the heavy weight of Cassian’s gaze on him again then it disappeared as the tent unfolded itself into shape and the man set to work stabilising and securing it. The door of the tent faced the fire and once the tent was secure, Cassian opened it and started tossing their packs and equipment inside. Once he was done, he picked up the other thermal blanket and a couple of ration packs and came back to sit beside Bodhi.

“You okay?” he asked as he shook out his own blanket. “You’ve been quiet.”

Bodhi didn’t really want to talk about his conflicting emotions about Cassian to the man himself so he tried a little misdirection. “What do you think they’ll do with us?”

Cassian frowned. “Who?”

“The Rebellion.” Bodhi glanced over at him. “Assuming they call this mission a success.”

Cassian’s frowned eased into something more thoughtful. “I’m not sure. We’ve got…” He snorted with amusement. “A fairly interesting skill set as a group. My guess is probably Intelligence… information gathering, spying, maybe some judicious appropriation of property and some sabotage.”

Bodhi was silent for a moment. “No assassinations?” he ventured in an almost-whisper.

Cassian went very still and Bodhi immediately regretted his question. He didn’t retract it though and instead curled in on himself a bit more, hoping Cassian wouldn’t start yelling. That would make waiting out the storm very, very awkward. But then Cassian sighed and slumped down a little.

“I can’t guarantee that,” he said quietly. “I… I’ve always been good at that and sometimes the Rebellion needs the dirty work to be done in the darkness so that the higher ups can do what they do in the sunlight.”

Bodhi swallowed hard. He understood that, he truly did, but that didn’t mean he wanted to be a part of such actions. Or that he wanted Cassian to have to do them anymore.

“They’d probably send me on my own if they needed that done,” Cassian said hesitantly, almost like a peace offering. “Not all of us.”

“That’s… that doesn’t make it any better,” Bodhi said with a frown.

Cassian sighed. “I don’t know what else I can say, Bodhi. Sometimes these things have to be done.”

“But not by _you_ ,” Bodhi blurted before he could stop himself.

Cassian turned to look at him, his expression deep and unfathomable, at least to Bodhi. As he watched, Cassian swallowed and looked away, his expression changing to something sorrowful and shamed. Bodhi had no idea what was going on inside Cassian’s head but he didn’t like the direction it seemed to be taking.

“I don’t think you’re a bad person,” he blurted out. “Never that. But… I don’t want you to have to do that anymore.”

“You weren’t thinking that on Eadu,” Cassian said, his voice harsh enough to make Bodhi flinch.

“I never thought you were a bad person,” he said, unable to hide the tremor in his voice. “Not even then, not even when I realised what you were going to do. I didn’t want you to do it but I didn’t think you were a bad person.” He licked his lips. “Besides, you didn’t kill Galen.”

Cassian’s lips twisted sourly. “No, _I_ didn’t but the Rebellion still did.”

“That wasn’t your fault.”

“I didn’t argue against it,” Cassian said heavily. “I understood the reasoning behind it.”

Bodhi bit his lip. “You didn’t know if you could trust Galen.”

Cassian snorted softly. “No.”

Bodhi was silent for a moment. “You didn’t know if you could trust me.”

Cassian went absolutely still and refused to look at Bodhi as he whispered, “No.”

“It’s okay. I’m not sure I would have trusted me either.” Bodhi managed a small, wry smile when Cassian’s head whipped around to stare at him. “Some half out of his mind Imperial pilot coming out of nowhere with an outlandish message from a man whose only character witness was Saw Gerrera.” He gave a rueful laugh. “Not exactly something to inspire confidence or convince anyone that it wasn’t a trap.”

Cassian glared into the fire. “We’d been fed bad information before. And that was from credible sources.”

“It’s okay,” Bodhi repeated. “I didn’t expect to be trusted. I just wanted to get my message to Saw Gerrera.” He chewed on his lip again. “And… and he might have been a bit crazy but he did give the message to Jyn. It worked out.”

“He hurt you,” Cassian growled.

Bodhi flinched and a moment later one of Cassian’s hand was clamped on his knee.

“Sorry,” Cassian said. “I didn’t mean…”

“It’s okay,” Bodhi said hurriedly, interrupting him. “I mean… it’s _not_ but I’m… okay. Ish.”

Cassian shifted around onto his knees and frowned at Bodhi. This frown however was full of worry and he couldn’t help the surge of warmth at that sign of Cassian’s concern.

“Are you still having nightmares?”

Bodhi nodded. “Most nights.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t want…” He grimaced. “The medication they gave me makes me feel horrible in the morning.”

“There are other things they can try other than medication.”

Bodhi shrugged. “I can usually get back to sleep afterwards.”

Cassian settled back down but he didn’t look appeased. He kept glancing at Bodhi like he wanted to say something more. Bodhi put up with it for a while but just as he opened his mouth to say something pointed, the howl of the wind outside suddenly turned into a scream and it swept into the shallow cave, bringing snow and ice with it. Cassian cursed and hurriedly got to his feet.

“Into the tent,” he snapped as he kicked a mix of dirt and snow over the fire to douse it.

Bodhi grabbed both of the blankets and the ration packs and dived into the tent. Cassian followed him and sealed the door. He lit the small emergency lantern and the inside of the tent was bathed in a soft yellow light. Outside the scream of the wind continued, barely muffled by the thin fabric of the tent.

“How long will the storm last?” Bodhi asked as they settled themselves down in the tight confines of the tent.

“Couple of hours,” Cassian replied. “But there’s a bigger storm front behind it. Kay’s going to come and get us once this storm clears.” He looked around the tent. “You should get some rest.”

“What about you?” Bodhi replied. 

He’d half expected Cassian to say something about one of them needing to stand guard or something along those lines. Instead, the other man grimaced and nodded.

“Yeah, okay.”

Bodhi was surprised but then he saw the lines of strain around Cassian’s eyes. Cassian hadn’t been the worst hurt out of them – that honour had been a bit of a tie between Chirrut and Baze – but he had been hurt badly by his fall down the shaft and had then compounded it by disobeying the medic’s orders at first back on Yavin IV. He’d been officially cleared for this mission but it was obvious now that he’d been pushing himself a bit too hard. That wasn’t really a surprise. Walking through snow and ice was a touch different from what they’d done on the other planets.

They shuffled around a bit so that Cassian could lie on his good side and then Bodhi curled up facing him. They were covered by the thermal blankets, their heads pillowed on their packs and the lantern sat at their feet. Bodhi was pleased to see some of the strain on Cassian’s face ease.

“What were you going to say before the storm hit?” he asked before he could think better of it.

Cassian gave a start then shook his head. “Nothing important.”

“It was something,” Bodhi replied.

Cassian sighed and Bodhi saw a faint tinge of pink on his cheeks as he spoke. “You, uh… slept well that night in medbay.”

Now it was Bodhi’s turn to blush. He remembered that night. He’d woken from a nightmare about Bor Gullet and Cassian had comforted him, even lying next to him on the bed. Baze had woken them early the next morning before the medics had come in and Bodhi had been a bit mortified to find that in the night he’d all but draped himself over Cassian. For his part, Cassian had seemed uncertain how to react and had quickly retreated to his own bed. He’d been taciturn and standoffish for the rest of the day. That would have hurt except that he’d caught Cassian flicking him confused but warm little glances throughout the day.

“Um, yes,” he said then his traitorous tongue continued with, “You’re warm.”

Cassian looked startled and his cheeks went pink again. “Oh. Right.”

“It got cold in medbay at night and you were so warm and…” Bodhi covered his face with his hands and groaned. “I’m sorry?”

He heard Cassian chuckle then his hands were pulled away from his face. Cassian looked amused and just a touch confused but he didn’t look angry or upset and that was really what mattered to Bodhi right now.

“It’s okay,” Cassian said. “I think Baze thought it was hilarious.”

Bodhi gave him a sceptical look. “Does Baze think _anything_ is hilarious?”

“He thinks Chirrut is a riot,” Cassian said dryly.

Bodhi laughed at that. Baze and Chirrut seemed to make each other laugh at the drop of a hat, often at things that didn’t really seem funny at all. It was a bit baffling but kind of funny at the same time.

“I think they’ve been together for a very long time,” he said.

“I think they’re a bit strange,” Cassian said, still in that very dry tone.

Bodhi laughed again. “Well, they’re married. At least, I think so. They’re allowed to be a bit strange.”

“They’re married?” Cassian said with surprise.

Bodhi nodded. “I think so. They’re together anyway.” He blushed. “I saw… when they brought Chirrut back in from the bacta tanks, Baze… well, it was pretty obvious.” He saw Cassian’s expression and sputtered for a moment. “Not like that, Cassian! They were just… very sweet.”

Cassian looked rather nonplussed, as though he was altering his entire world view to encompass the idea of Baze being sweet, then he laughed softly. “You know, it makes it all make sense now. The way they are together.”

“Besides…” Bodhi began, looking rather thoughtful as he tried to remember things that had been said when he was younger. “I think the braids in Baze’s hair are matrimonial braids. They do that in certain parts of Jedha.” He winced. “Or did. I remember my mother talking about that with one of the neighbours once.”

“Huh,” Cassian said.

The wind screamed again and Bodhi shivered. That caught Cassian’s attention. He hesitated for a moment then shuffled over and wrapped his arm and therefore his blanket around Bodhi’s shoulders. Bodhi shivered again, though this time it had nothing to do with the cold. He dared to curl into the other man and ducked his head to hide his smile when Cassian’s arm tightened around him.

“Do you really think the Rebellion will want to use this place as a base?” he asked as a distraction, raising his head. He was glad he’d asked the question because they were lying so _close_ to each other now and it distracted Cassian from his sudden indrawn breath. 

“Possibly,” Cassian replied after a moment’s silence. “It’s got a lot of advantages, tactically speaking. It’s far enough from the normal space lanes that anyone coming here would be noticed. Probably. And if they did come, we’d at least get enough warning to do a semi-orderly evacuation.”

“It’s freezing,” Bodhi grumbled.

Cassian gave a brief laugh. “Yeah, it is. I’ve been to worse places though.”

Bodhi scrunched up his face at that idea. “I was going to ask,” he said, “But now I’ve decided not to.”

“I’ve been to some nice places as well,” Cassian offered. “Not many but some.”

“You need a better job,” Bodhi grumbled.

Cassian hesitated for a moment then he smiled. “I think I have one.”

Bodhi looked at him with surprise, suddenly aware of how close they were lying to each other. Something must have changed in his expression because Cassian went very still and his eyes widened even as his face went utterly blank. He then swallowed and licked his lips and Bodhi saw something hesitant and uncertain in his eyes. Cassian leaned towards him then stopped.

“Bodhi,” he breathed. “I want… can I…?”

Bodhi didn’t bother with an answer. He closed the gap between them and pressed his lips against Cassian’s. For a moment, Cassian was utterly still and Bodhi wondered whether he’d done the wrong thing. Then Cassian burst into motion, pulling him tight against his body and deepening the kiss, licking and nipping at his bottom lip with eager fervour. Bodhi squeaked with surprise at the passionate response to his hesitant kiss but when Cassian would have pulled back, he grabbed hold of his shirt and didn’t let him. Cassian shuddered and continued kissing him.

Bodhi wasn’t sure how long they kissed before they finally parted on a sigh. He opened his eyes and saw that Cassian’s were still closed and there was an almost quizzical smile on the man’s face. Then Cassian opened his eyes and Bodhi smiled at him.

“Hi,” he said before blushing and ducking his head a little, mentally cursing his ineptitude.

Cassian chuckled and caressed his cheek. “Hi yourself.” He bit his lip. “I… that was unexpected.”

Bodhi raised his head and looked askance. “Really? You mean I haven’t been pathetically obvious? Because I think even Kay knows how I feel and he’s only been back with us for a couple of weeks. _Chirrut_ knows and he’s _blind_.”

Cassian looked a bit like he’d smacked him across the back of his head with a board and Bodhi giggled. 

“Did you really not know? I… I thought you were just being polite and ignoring it because you…” He paused and drew in a breath then let it out again. “You didn’t feel the same.”

Cassian still looked a bit pole-axed but now he was frowning. Bodhi wasn’t worried because the frown was more disgruntled than angry. Finally Cassian let out an exasperated sigh.

“I’m… it’s been a long time since I’ve done anything like this,” he admitted reluctantly. “I may be out of practice.”

Bodhi had a sneaking suspicion that Cassian had _never_ done something like this. That he’d taken his pleasure when and where he could and _never_ allowed himself to linger or to care. He didn’t mind. It wasn’t as though he had any greater experience. They could muddle through this together. And if they hit a snag, well, Bodhi was sure that Baze, at least, would give them sage advice. He wasn’t quite as sure about Chirrut. He _liked_ Chirrut and he was sure Chirrut would give them _plenty_ of advice if they asked – and even if they _didn’t_ ask – he just wasn’t sure how sage that advice would actually be. Not that he thought it would _bad_ advice or malicious or anything like that but Chirrut liked mischief far too much to give _sage_ advice.

“I think that makes me feel better,” he said with a small smile. “I feel a little less pathetically stupid.”

“You’re not stupid,” Cassian said immediately, his frown deepening. “Or pathetic.”

Bodhi smiled at that. “Thank you. But I still felt that way. I was pining, you know.”

Now Cassian began to smile again. “Pining, huh?”

“Yep.”

“I may have been doing a bit of that myself.”

“I couldn’t tell,” Bodhi said ruefully. “I mean… I hoped. You kept smiling at me but then you started sort of looming over me and frowning a lot on that second world we went to so I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on.”

“I… I was worried,” Cassian replied, looking a bit nonplussed. “You got knocked down by that… thing. It was pure luck you weren’t hurt worse than just some bruises.”

“I thought I was in trouble,” Bodhi replied.

Cassian was silent for a moment. “I probably need to work on my worrying. Make it less… threatening.”

Bodhi giggled. “Maybe just a bit.”

Cassian smiled ruefully and ducked down to quickly kiss Bodhi. “I’ll try.”

Bodhi snuggled closer and sighed happily. “At least I’ll know its worry now.”

Cassian made a noncommittal sound but seemed happy to wrap his arms around Bodhi and settle down under the thermal blankets. He seemed to be thinking very hard about something but then he clearly shook himself out of whatever that was and looked at Bodhi. A small, rather intent smile curved his lips and Bodhi shivered at the promise in it.

“Now,” Cassian said, “where were we?”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As would inevitably happen if Rogue One had survived, Luke Skywalker seeks out the only people around who know anything about the Force. In return, Baze and Chirrut mildly traumatise him. :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s a bit of philosophy about the Force here that I extrapolated from information in the Greg Rucka book, Guardians of the Whills. So, you know, I didn’t pull it entirely out of my arse. I’ve also probably taken liberties with timelines and the definition of the word ‘young’.
> 
> Also, I borrowed the term 'Abbyx' from another fic but I can't find it to credit the author for coming up with such a lovely gender and species neutral term.

Despite the vast difference between the forests of Yavin IV and the deserts of Jedha, there was something familiar about the remnants of the temples around which the Rebellion had made its base. It sent a pang through Baze’s chest as he remembered better times, when he had been younger, less angry and more sure of himself and his devotion, walking the corridors of the Temple of the Kyber, debating theology with his fellow Guardians and occasionally the Disciples and bickering amiably with Chirrut. He wondered whether Chirrut felt the same familiarity and was certain he did. Why else would Chirrut choose the temple ruins to meditate in, instead of their room or somewhere else in the base?

It had been a long time since he had last meditated, something he knew made Chirrut grieve every time it even vaguely came up conversation. Baze’s loss of faith and loss of balance within the Force was a constant scratch between them, one that Baze had no idea how to fix, even now when he had some measure of peace in his life. His anger – at the Empire, at the Force, at himself, at… something so ephemeral that he couldn’t even put a name to it – hadn’t faded, it was just better directed. Or would be once the Rebellion deemed their little family to be a functioning unit and sent them on missions of some substance.

Cassian seemed confident that would happen. The Rebel leaders were apparently pleased with their efforts on their scouting trip and were reviewing their reports of the planets they’d visited. In retrospect, the trip had been a good shakedown for them, getting to know each other’s strengths and weaknesses in a calmer, more sober manner than a desperate dive into what had seemed like certain death. Sharp edges had been smoothed down, kinks had been worked out and friendships had settled and blossomed. And more than friendship if the way Cassian and Bodhi were behaving with each other after their visit to Hoth was anything to go by.

The sounds of footsteps on stone drew Baze instantly out of his ruminations and with his hand on the blaster he was carrying in lieu of the heavier repeater cannon and its accoutrements, he shifted so that he could look in that direction while still keeping an eye on Chirrut. His husband hadn’t so much as twitched in his meditations but Baze knew that Chirrut had heard what he had, probably well before Baze had picked up on it. However it would take the force of a thousand suns and half the Imperial army to shift Chirrut from his meditations if that was the mood he was in.

The footsteps soon resolved themselves into the young potential Jedi that they’d met before they’d left on their mission. There was a part of Baze that desperately wished to hate young Skywalker but the boy was far too good a person to allow him that luxury. But Luke Skywalker unsettled him and unnerved him. Even in his current lack of balance, he could feel the Force flowing in and around Skywalker. The Jedi were all dead and gone, there was no hope left there and yet… there was Skywalker.

He grunted as Skywalker drew level with him and the young man gave him a respectful nod. “Master Malbus.”

Baze twitched a little at a title he no longer claimed, along with that of Guardian. He remembered a time he’d worn both with quiet, unassuming pride. He’d been much younger then.

“Skywalker,” he finally said in a tone that was neither welcoming nor unfriendly. Skywalker didn’t seem to notice or if he did, he didn’t mind Baze’s lack of enthusiasm.

“They told me that you and Master Îmwe were both Guardians of the Whills and that you know about the Force,” Skywalker said, sounding both curious and strangely intent.

“He’s the Guardian,” Baze said with a grunt, jerking his chin towards Chirrut. “I’m not.”

Skywalker frowned. “But…”

“Don’t confuse the boy, Baze,” Chirrut said serenely, though he gave no other sign that he was paying any attention to them.

“I’m not,” Baze replied. It was left up to interpretation whether he was reiterating that he wasn’t a Guardian or whether he was claiming not be confusing Skywalker.

In a smooth move that Baze both envied and made his knees ache, Chirrut opened his eyes and shifted around so that he was sitting cross-legged on the smooth stone of the temple ruins. His cane lay beside him and he picked it up and placed it across his lap before gesturing for Skywalker to sit down as well.

“Baze Malbus was once the most devoted of all the Guardians,” he said with a certainty and a sadness that made Baze’s heart ache, made him wish ever so briefly that he could be that younger man once again, if only to rid Chirrut of that sadness. “So don’t mind his fussing.”

Skywalker looked between them a bit dubiously but he sat down anyway. Baze stayed where he was, though he moved so that he could sit on a stone block that had fallen from one of the walls. This showed the potential of being a long discussion and he didn’t see any reason to be uncomfortable. Not physically anyway. If Chirrut was going to start discussing the Force with a potential Jedi, this was liable to get uncomfortable in other ways, not least because arguing about the Force and the differences between the viewpoints of the Jedi and the way the Disciples and Guardians of the Whills perceived it was always contentious.

“Now,” Chirrut said calmly. “What did you wish to know?”

Skywalker was silent for a moment, clearly struggling to articulate something that he didn’t quite understand. Baze wondered what Chirrut could sense through the Force and what his senses were telling him about Skywalker. Baze saw a young man who had been thrown into the ocean without knowing whether or not he could swim. Sadly, it wasn’t the first time he’d seen that since the Temple of the Kyber had fallen.

“I don’t know much about the Force,” Skywalker finally said, his voice low, uncertain and tense. “But Ben seemed to think I could use it and…” He hesitated, watching Chirrut with wary eyes as he continued, “I… I _heard_ him. During the attack on the Death Star. Telling me to trust in the Force rather than use the targeting systems in my X-Wing. Was I… was I imaging things?”

Now it was Chirrut’s turn to be silent then he held out one hand. Skywalker didn’t hesitate before placing his hand in Chirrut’s and Baze shook his head at the boy’s trusting nature. He was going to have to corner Cassian and between the two of them they could give Skywalker a crash course in the dangers that he was going to face now that he was away from the farm. The boy was going to be eaten alive if they didn’t.

“The Force flows strongly through you and around you,” Chirrut said in a voice full of wonder and yearning. No jealousy though. Baze knew Chirrut was capable of jealousy but not over something like this. “Who is Ben?”

“Ben Kenobi,” Skywalker said. “Though… the Princess called him Obi-Wan Kenobi. He was a Jedi. He said my father was too.”

Chirrut looked towards Baze and he knew they were both thinking the same thing. Kenobi was a vaguely familiar name from a long time ago when they had both been striplings still facing their first duan and Chirrut had still had his sight. The Kenobi they remembered had been a somewhat sullen young man trailing after a tall, imposing Jedi Master, who had been speaking quietly and respectfully with their Abbyx. Master and apprentice had stayed at the Temple for two days before leaving with an air of frustrated exasperation about them. None of the students had ever learned why the Jedi Master had come or what had been discussed and the apprentice had never left his Master’s side so they hadn’t ever had the chance to speak to him either.

“If he was a Jedi, then you were not imagining things,” Chirrut said, turning his attention back to Skywalker. A look of faint amusement grew on his face. “However if becoming a Jedi lies in your future, then we might not be the best ones to speak to.”

“Why?” Skywalker asked, frowning slightly.

Chirrut chuckled. “The Jedi and the Disciples and Guardians of the Whills do not always agree when it comes to our respective understanding of the Force.”

Skywalker looked at him curiously. “Why not?”

Baze snorted and answered before he could stop himself. “You think the Jedi are the only ones who seek an understanding of the Force? There were a hundred different sects in Jedha City alone, not even taking into account how many more there were scattered across the universe before the Empire rose.”

“Master Malbus was always considered a superb scholar of the Force,” Chirrut said with sly amusement.

“What’s the difference?” Skywalker turned to look at Baze and had there been anything other than honest curiosity and an eagerness to learn on the boy’s face, he would have shut down the conversation immediately. But the boy _didn’t_ harbour any preconceptions, no matter what Kenobi had told him in their time together. He looked genuinely eager to listen and learn.

Baze still shifted a little uncomfortably and spared a single glare for the look of smug satisfaction on Chirrut’s face. Not that it made much difference but he knew Chirrut would _know_ he was glaring. He always did somehow.

“One must always seek _balance_ in the Force,” he said, falling into the old lecturing tone that he’d almost forgotten he knew. “That is what the Force is. Balance. A balance between the light and the dark. You can’t have one without the other, just as you can’t have night without day.”

“How are the Jedi different?” Skywalker asked, leaning forward.

“They seek only the light,” Baze said shortly. “They have a great understanding of it and unlike the Disciples and Guardians and others, they can actually _use_ the Force instead of merely being sensitive to it. But they do not embrace balance in the Force.”

Skywalker frowned thoughtfully. “But isn’t the dark… evil? Wrong?”

“No,” Baze said shortly.

“Or not entirely,” Chirrut added and Skywalker shifted again so that he would talk to both of them easily. “The dark side does encompass what might be called evil but not everything of the dark is evil.” He paused and looked into the distance. “I can perceive the Force. Sometimes I can even touch it, inhabit it, feel it flow through and around me, ever so briefly. I perceive the light side of the force when I see a mother sing to her child. I feel the darkness swirl around a man as he coughs and chokes on the dust that pervaded our home. I feel light _and_ darkness flow through and around people in the Rebellion, including Baze and myself, because we either have killed, are prepared to kill or both. Saying that I perceive darkness in someone is not a judgement of their value as a person, merely an observation about who and what they are.”

“But the Jedi would tell you that everything of the dark side of the Force is evil,” Baze grunted. “That those who have something in them that calls to the dark side will inevitably succumb to evil. Our Order always disagreed with that.”

He could feel Chirrut’s smirk at his use of the word ‘our’ but ignored him in favour of watching Skywalker mull over all of that.

“So…” Skywalker said slowly. “You’re saying that if someone chooses to hate something then as long as they… what? Don’t succumb to it?”

Skywalker’s question cut close to the bone for Baze and he wasn’t surprised when Chirrut went uncharacteristically silent on the subject, forcing Baze to examine himself as well as answer the question.

“If you can temper the hate, the anger, whatever the negative emotion is,” Baze said, his voice heavy and pained. Skywalker’s eyes widened at that but he kept his mouth shut and listened as Baze continued. “If you can examine it, understand it, learn to forgive both the source and yourself, then you can maintain balance within the Force. If you cannot, you can become unbalanced and therein lies the danger.”

And perhaps Baze might have succumbed to the darkness brought about by his anger if not for Chirrut and his husband’s unrelenting, unwavering faith in the Force. He felt… _safe_ in his anger while he knew that Chirrut would always be there to catch him, to draw him out of the darkness and back towards the light, towards balance.

“Why the difference?” Skywalker asked.

Now Chirrut was willing to pick up the conversational ball. “Perhaps because the Jedi use the Force whereas we are only sensitive to it. The Force is powerful. It can be of great benefit but it can also cause great harm.”

“Who’s right?”

Chirrut chuckled. “That is a question only you can answer, little brother.”

Skywalker sighed and looked rather rueful. “I was afraid you were going to say that.”

“The Force isn’t something that can be understood in an afternoon’s lessons,” Chirrut said, sounding both amused and slightly chiding. “It takes a lifetime and even then you probably won’t truly understand it.”

“So how do I know if I’m doing the right thing?” Skywalker asked, looking frustrated.

Chirrut’s smile was enigmatic. “You’ll know. If you choose to listen to the Force, you’ll know.” He pointed a finger at the young man. Or at least close enough to the young man’s direction. “You knew when you attacked the Death Star, did you not? You listened to the Force and it told you when to fire. Trust in that and you will not go wrong.”

“I felt… peaceful,” Skywalker said thoughtfully. “I just _knew_ and I felt at peace then I just did what I needed to do without thinking.”

Chirrut smiled and inclined his head. “And that is when you know you are one with the Force. That is the peace we seek when we meditate.”

Skywalker looked at the two of them, his curiosity rising again. “So you’re both Force sensitive?”

Chirrut inclined his head and Baze grunted, though whether it was in agreement or refusal, he actually wasn’t quite sure.

“What _are_ Guardians of the Whills?” Skywalker asked, leaning forward a little in his interest. “I’d never heard of them before.”

“One of two groups who served at the Temple of the Kyber,” Chirrut replied. “The Disciples and the Guardians. We sought understanding of the Force, each in our own way, and kept watch over one of the greatest sources of kyber crystals for the Jedi.”

“Kyber crystals?”

Chirrut nodded towards the lightsaber that hung from Skywalker’s belt. Baze wasn’t surprised that Chirrut could do so unerringly. He had always heard the singing of the kyber so intensely, even before he’d been blinded and learned to rely on his other senses.

“Kyber crystals power that lightsaber you bear.”

Skywalker gave a start and twisted to look down at it. He then pulled it off his belt and held it in his hands. “This was my father’s lightsaber, according to Ben. He said I should have it.”

Baze looked over at Chirrut and saw that his friend was looking in his direction with a raised eyebrow. He knew what Chirrut was thinking and wondering because the same thing was going through his mind. 

“What? What’s wrong?” Skywalker asked, proving he was far sharper than his soft countenance made him appear.

“Your father was a Jedi?” Chirrut asked gently.

“Yes.”

Baze grunted. “Impossible.”

Skywalker frowned up at him. “Why?”

“Jedi don’t marry, don’t form relationships,” Baze said shortly. “Not beyond friendship anyway. Or the relationship between a Master and their apprentice. They don’t approve of anything deeper and they don’t have children.”

Chirrut looked suddenly deeply amused and Baze snorted in response, knowing _exactly_ what he was thinking about. Skywalker looked between them, as though he wasn’t quite sure what’s going on.

“What’s funny about that?” he asked.

“Very little,” Chirrut said, his voice nonetheless sparking with quiet laughter. “The Disciples and Guardians of the Whills are not so austere. I’m afraid Baze and I garnered the disapproval of a visiting Jedi Knight when we were younger. Certainly young enough to not care very much about said disapproval. Or refrain from continuing the action he disapproved of.”

Baze rumbled with soft laughter of his own. While he’d never been overly demonstrative, especially in public, he’d never shied away from Chirrut’s touch or been shy about touching him in return, especially after Chirrut had been blinded. That alone probably would have been enough to gain the disapproval of the Jedi Knight, if he’d seen it, but at least there was a limit to what Baze would allow in public. 

Unfortunately the Jedi had walked in on them doing a little bit more than just holding hands. They’d still been clothed – mostly – but there had been little doubt about what they were doing… and where their hands were. The Jedi had not made himself popular during his stay and while Baze would probably have stopped and even apologised anyway, Chirrut had done this _thing_ with his hand that always took Baze’s brain offline and any thoughts of propriety had fled… along with the Jedi. Thankfully the Abbyx had ignored the Jedi’s silent disapproval afterwards and Baze and Chirrut had felt comfortable doing the same.

Skywalker looked at them with confusion for a moment then understanding dawned and he blushed and flashed a smile as broad and impish as anything Chirrut could manage. “Oh! That, um…” He laughed for a moment then sobered and frowned. “So… my father wasn’t a Jedi? I don’t think Ben would have lied about that.”

“I’m afraid I don’t have an answer for you,” Chirrut replied, still looking amused. “If your Ben said he was a Jedi, then we have no reason to doubt but it is… unusual.”

Skywalker sighed. “I always seem to end up with more questions than answers.”

“Good,” Baze grunted. “Means you’re doing things right.”

Skywalker gave him such a disgruntled look that he was tempted to laugh. “I hate answers like that.”

“Such is the way of the Force,” Chirrut replied serenely.

“Now I feel like you’re making fun of me,” Skywalker complained amiably.

“You’d know it if he was,” Baze said dryly. “He’s not good at hiding his expressions.”

“Lies,” Chirrut said with a grin. “I am as subtle…”

Baze snorted. “As a bantha in a pottery shop.”

“No, that’s you, my love,” Chirrut replied, his grin widening and turning decidedly teasing.

Baze let himself fall into their familiar banter. “Are you calling me fat?”

“Never,” Chirrut said fervently. “You are deliciously solid and big.”

There was an emphasis to that last word that had Baze snorting with laughter and Skywalker turning a brilliant crimson as he eyed the two of them like they were mad.

“You’re traumatising the baby Jedi,” Baze said, his tone indulgent and fond. “Perhaps you could try being less shameless.”

“When has that ever worked?” Chirrut said with a shrug.

“Fair point.”

Skywalker cleared his throat and scrambled to his feet. “I, uh, need to go. I promised Wedge I’d help him with his X-Wing.”

The young man bowed to both of them then hurried off, scrambling back down the ruin in a trickle of stones. Baze watched him go then turned back to Chirrut.

“You frightened him.”

Chirrut sighed. “Ah, Jedi, so delicate and fragile.”

Baze snorted again. “Are you done meditating?”

Chirrut nodded and his smile turned decidedly sharp. “I am. Shall we return and explore just how big and solid you are?”

“Shameless,” Baze said though he certainly no intention of objecting to Chirrut’s plans, except as a matter of form, because Chirrut would expect him to as part of their endless little game.

“I don’t know why you’re complaining,” Chirrut said as he rose smoothly to his feet. “You’re the one who benefits the most from my lack of shame.”

“True,” Baze conceded as he followed Chirrut down from their perch. It wasn’t the first time they’d been up here so he made no move to help Chirrut but he did keep a careful eye on him. He respected Chirrut’s ability and independence but that didn’t mean he would let his husband fall flat on his face.

“Did he blush prettily?”

“Like a sunrise.”

Chirrut looked smug. “I see I haven’t lost my touch.”

Baze threw his head back and laughed, happy to simply delight in Chirrut’s mischief. There would be plenty of time for seriousness later. “No, you have not,” he said warmly as he fell in step beside Chirrut, taking comfort, as he always did, from the warm, solid form beside him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of the pieces that I've already written or mostly written. I have some ideas of some other pieces to write but if there is anything you'd be interested in seeing, let me know in the comments or you can [drop an ask over at my tumblr](http://tellmevarric.tumblr.com/ask).


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassian has been busy since they returned to Yavin IV and Bodhi completely understands, even if he isn’t entirely comfortable. When Cassian finally gets free, things heat up then settle into something wonderfully warm.

Bodhi hadn’t had a chance to speak to Cassian in the three days since they’d gotten back from their scouting trip. He understood, of course. Cassian was their leader and he had to report in and deal with all the general administration that even a Rebellion produced, not to mention all the fallout from their trip to Scarif. The one time he’d seen him in the mess hall, walking in with some of the Rebel leaders and clearly still in the middle of some sort of conversation, Cassian had shot him a look of helpless apology. He’d actually felt a stab of relief at that sign that Cassian really _was_ busy and wasn’t just finding ways to avoid him.

It was a little strange being back on the base and not being distracted by either the organisation of a clandestine trip against orders or recovering from injuries. It was both relaxing and more than a little intimidating. At least at first. Right up until he’d walked into the hanger, desperately hoping to find something to do that would take him away from the assessing, suspicious gazes he seemed to attract, and all but smacked into Wedge Antilles, Luke Skywalker and another man whose name he hadn’t caught but that he thought might be called Binns or Biggs.

The three pilots had greeted him happily and drawn him into their conversation before introducing him to the deck supervisor who had been happy to have another set of competent hands, albeit temporarily, and put him to work. It was as if that meeting had set the tone for everyone else and though he still got the odd wary look, everyone had seemed much friendlier after that.

Still, he much preferred being buried in the guts of a ship than anything else. He knew he couldn’t be completely free of suspicion. He _had_ been a part of the Imperial forces after all, even if it was only as a cargo pilot, and he couldn’t even say it had been entirely unwillingly either. But he had also betrayed the Empire, brought out the message that enabled them to defeat the Death Star and had risked his life to get the plans. There might be suspicions but apparently most people were willing to let his actions speak louder than any words that might be said.

“Bodhi?”

Bodhi gave a start and banged his head against ceiling of the conduit he was half-buried in. He swore but he was in a precarious enough position that he couldn’t rub his head. Instead he settled for wriggling his way out of the conduit and turning to see who was there.

“Cassian!”

The man in question twitched and his eyes quickly flicked up from… Bodhi blushed. Had Cassian been staring at his arse? From the pink across Cassian’s cheeks and the look on his face of a man who’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, he was fairly sure that’s _exactly_ what Cassian had been doing. 

“Uh, hi,” Cassian said, shifting from foot to foot.

“You’re here,” Bodhi said blankly. “I mean, of course you’re here but you’re not… busy.”

Cassian’s lips quirked in a tiny smile. “They finally finished asking me questions.”

“Is that… bad?” Bodhi asked, suddenly worried.

Cassian shook his head. “No. It’s just… unusual for them to have an essentially fully formed team fall in their laps. Even more so when they only really know the capabilities of one member. They were just trying to work out what they were going to do with us.”

Bodhi’s eyes widened. “They’re not going to split us up, are they?”

Cassian hesitated for a moment then he reached out and took Bodhi’s hand, sliding their fingers together. He looked like he was expecting the gesture to blow up in his face but for his part, Bodhi was just having trouble restarting his brain. He managed to smile, brightly and brilliantly, before Cassian could think he’d done something wrong.

“No,” Cassian said and Bodhi had to mentally scramble to remember the question he’d asked. “They were just trying to work out the best option for us.”

“So we have a mission?”

Cassian nodded. “Yes but…” He licked his lips. “That’s, uh… not why I came to find you.”

Bodhi almost asked why but then he saw the look on Cassian’s face and all he could do was blush and smile shyly. He felt his nerves finally settle. That look told him all he needed to know. That what had happened on Hoth was not a hallucination or a one off or whatever else he’d nervously managed to come up with to explain it away. It had happened and Cassian did not regret it.

“Um, okay?” he said. “Er, should we… go somewhere else?”

Cassian looked around as though just seeing for the first time where they were. “Yeah… yeah, that’d be good.”

Bodhi quickly packed up his tools and dropped them off with the deck supervisor with a quick report of how far he’d gotten with his repairs. He then hurried over to join Cassian, exchanging a wave with a few of the pilots who were working on their ships.

“You’ve been making friends,” Cassian said with another of those faint smiles. “Good.”

“Um, yes, sort of.” Bodhi gave a nervous laugh. “I think Luke made them for me.”

“Skywalker?” Cassian said with a raised eyebrow.

Bodhi nodded. “I met him and Wedge when I first came down here.” He hesitated for a moment. “People were looking at me strangely before that.”

Cassian’s expression became grim and his lips thinned as though he knew exactly what those looks were about and why they were occurring. “Sorry. I should have been there. You shouldn’t have had to face that alone.”

“It’s okay,” Bodhi said with a small smile but his shoulders hunched a little at the memory. “They have a right to be suspicious.”

Cassian opened his mouth to argue but then he abruptly closed it and took a deep breath. He let it out slowly then reached out and took Bodhi’s hand gingerly. “It still doesn’t make it right.”

Bodhi ducked his head and his smile was wider and more genuine this time. “It’s okay,” he said again. “Besides, after talking to Luke, everyone seems much nicer.”

Cassian snorted. “I’m not surprised. You’ve been vouched for by the hero of the hour.”

“You?” Bodhi said with a hint of mischief. He had an inkling of how Cassian would react and the man didn’t let him down.

“Me? No!” Cassian snorted. “I’m no hero.”

“You have a medal that says otherwise.”

“We all have a medal for that and…” Cassian looked grim and shook his head. “Too many people died on Scarif for me to even _think_ about calling myself a hero.” He paused. “You are, though.”

Bodhi looked askance at him. “If I am, you are too.”

Cassian shook his head. “You’re the one who defected, despite knowing what it might cost you, despite knowing we might not even believe you. You’re more of a hero than I am.”

“I joined the Empire,” Bodhi said with quiet self-deprecation. “I think I’ve still got a long way to go before I make up for _that_.”

Cassian looked like he wanted to argue some more but they’d reached the door to his room. They went inside and Cassian let his hand drop as he started to pace. Bodhi watched him with baffled amusement and let him pace for a few minutes. But when Cassian kept pacing and didn’t say anything, he deliberately stepped in the man’s path. Cassian came to an abrupt halt and stared at him blankly for a moment.

“Bodhi?”

Bodhi swallowed hard and stepped closer. He wasn’t sure where he was finding this courage. He’d never really considered himself a courageous person. Perhaps he found it in the same place where he’d found the courage to turn away from his duties to the Empire and actually do what Galen had wanted of him. This wasn’t perhaps quite that serious but it certainly felt pretty serious to him personally.

He stepped closer to Cassian until they were almost touching then he leaned in and kissed Cassian. The other man went very still for a long, horrible moment then he burst into motion, wrapping his arms around Bodhi and all but crushing him against his body, as though he hadn’t expected to get what he wanted… as though he usually _didn’t_ get what he wanted. Bodhi didn’t fight it – it was what _he_ wanted after all – and grabbed at whatever part of Cassian he could reach, kissing him back just as passionately.

“Bodhi,” Cassian moaned as he smeared kisses along Bodhi’s jawline, his lips rasping softly over the short beard he wore. “This… this is good?”

Bodhi nodded and made an affirmative sound as he burrowed his hands under Cassian’s jacket and shirt to find warm skin. When he did, Cassian jerked and hissed, pulling away from what he’d been doing.

“Your hands are cold!”

“Sorry!” Bodhi yanked them away but Cassian caught them just as quickly and put them back where they had been on his sides.

Cassian’s smile was lop-sided and warm. “I didn’t say to take them away. They’ll warm up.”

Bodhi returned the smile a little hesitantly as he slid his hands around Cassian’s side and up his back, watching as the other man shivered then made a small sound of contentment. Cassian looked like he wasn’t sure whether he wanted to move back into Bodhi’s touch or forward to kiss him again and it made Bodhi wonder when the last time someone had touched Cassian gently. Well, before Jyn on Scarif anyway. He didn’t ask. Just the thought of what the answer might be made his heart hurt, he didn’t want to know the truth of the matter.

He pulled Cassian close and smiled as he made another of those contented noises as he leaned in to kiss him again. They stayed like that for a while, just kissing gently as Bodhi’s hands warmed up against Cassian’s skin. Then Cassian began fumbling with the closures of Bodhi’s jumpsuit and he decided to retaliate by pushing Cassian’s jacket off his shoulders, which got him a warm chuckle for his troubles.

“This might go a bit better if we concentrated on our own clothes,” Cassian said.

Bodhi grinned as their hands tangled. “It’s more fun this way.”

Cassian seemed to surprise himself when the laugh burst out of him and Bodhi wondered how often Cassian had actually _laughed_ during any sort of intimacy. The laughter seemed to settle the mood down though and Cassian let his forehead rest against Bodhi’s. He liked that. It felt intimate and close.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Cassian asked quietly.

Bodhi breathed in and then let the breath out slowly again as he thought about what Cassian was asking. He liked that Cassian _did_ ask. It made him feel safe. Cared for. He knew he _did_ want to have sex with Cassian but… he didn’t want it right now. He didn’t want to rush this. He wanted to have all the little things before they had sex. 

“Can we…” he began, not really wanting to say _cuddle_ and sound like an idiot. So instead, he started to shuffle them towards the bed. Cassian looked at him curiously but let him set the pace. 

When they got to the bed, Bodhi reluctantly pulled away from Cassian and sat down and pulled off his boots. He shifted over on the bed and looked at Cassian expectantly. Cassian stared back for a moment then shrugged off his jacket and sat down, removing his boots as well. Bodhi dragged him down to lie beside him and then burrowed in close. Cassian finally figured out what he was up to and laughed before wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close.

They lay there for a while, wrapped around each other, then Cassian sighed and just seemed to melt into Bodhi’s embrace. It was only then that Bodhi realised he’d never truly seen Cassian relaxed until now. He felt his heart thump in his chest at the thought that Cassian trusted him that much. It also set his mind at ease that Cassian was apparently happy to just do this.

“This is nice,” Cassian said, confirming that thought. 

“Mmhmm,” Bodhi replied then he smiled when Cassian nuzzled in close and kissed him.

Exchanging kisses was even better now, Bodhi thought. There was no real motivation behind the kisses other than to simply… kiss. They paused every now and then to rest their foreheads together and eventually Bodhi wormed his hands under Cassian’s shirt again, drawing a short laugh from the other man when he realised that they were cold again.

“Are you always this cold?” Cassian asked, a smile curving his lips in a way that Bodhi decided he adored.

He shrugged. “My hands always seem to be cold.” He grinned. “I’ll have to keep them where they are.”

“That might make working a bit difficult,” Cassian said dryly.

Bodhi’s eyes twinkled. “That’s not a no.”

Cassian laughed and kissed him. “No, it’s not.” He suddenly yawned and looked mortified. “I’m sorry.”

“How much sleep have you been getting with all these interrogations?” Bodhi asked intently.

“Enough,” Cassian said but Bodhi snorted before he could say anything more.

“Not enough.” He kissed Cassian to forestall any argument. “Get some sleep.”

Cassian stilled then he smiled again. “Here? Now?”

Bodhi nodded. “I could sleep as well. It’s been… strange, adjusting to being here.”

Cassian gave him a long look then nodded. He shifted slightly and Bodhi burrowed back into him, tucking his head under Cassian’s chin. Cassian chuckled then they both quietened and relaxed. Bodhi wondered if Cassian was going to be _able_ to sleep but it didn’t take long until he went limp. Bodhi smiled to himself and closed his eyes, letting sleep take him as well.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bodhi has a bad night and Cassian helps him. Jyn watches them and with Baze’s help, reflects on what has gone before and what might come.

There were times when Jyn felt like the only sane person in a room full of madmen, a feeling that only grew stronger when she was stuck in close proximity to the antics of her teammates. Baze and Chirrut being… well, Baze and Chirrut was bad enough but now that Cassian and Bodhi had added their particular brand of madness to the mix, she was half-tempted to see if K-2SO wanted to join her in running away to saner pastures.

Not that they weren’t all completely adorable most of the time. The scouting mission had allowed her to see that Baze and Chirrut’s constant bickering wasn’t acrimonious in any way; it was just their unique form of affection, love and flirting. And since Hoth, Bodhi and Cassian had taken to mooning after each other with very soppy looks that had caused her to stifle more than one laugh and even on occasion leave the room before she exploded. They’d only gotten worse since they’d returned to Yavin IV and she assumed they’d actually manned up and talked to each other. If they’d done anything else, she didn’t want to know.

“Trouble, little sister?”

Jyn looked up as Baze sat down next to her with a small grunt. “Just debating whether I need to put sugar in my caf or if the room is sweet enough as it is,” she said dryly.

Jyn jerked her head towards the other side of the small room. Bodhi and Cassian had their heads together, talking quietly as Bodhi held Cassian’s hand, his fingers brushing over all sides of it in quick little nervous gestures. They had clearly not heard her comment but he wasn’t surprised. Bodhi had looked a little disorientated this morning, something confirmed by the jerky, repetitive motions of his hands now. Cassian was concentrating on helping Bodhi focus and calm down and centre himself in his mind again. Jyn knew it was serious and she was worried for Bodhi, hence the reasons why she had stayed in the mess after getting her caf, just in case Cassian needed her help. She just wanted to know why they had to look so damn sweet while they were doing it.

“He had a bad night,” Baze said.

Jyn nodded. “I know. But look at them being all sweet and adorable about it.”

Baze chuckled. “You like it.”

“Shh!” Jyn said, batting at his arm. “You’ll ruin my hard-bitten, I don’t care façade.”

“I think you ruined that all by yourself,” Baze said mildly.

Jyn rolled her eyes but couldn’t exactly refute what Baze had said. She had rather shattered her own façade when she decided to care and care deeply.

“Are you jealous?” Baze asked.

She looked over at him with surprise. “What?”

Baze smiled faintly. “I am many things, little sister, but blind is not one of them. I leave that to Chirrut.”

Jyn snorted with amusement then sighed. “No, I’m not jealous. I do like Cassian and maybe… maybe in a better universe, a kinder universe, something could have happened there but…” She looked over at Cassian and Bodhi contemplatively. “We’re too much alike. We’d either be epic together or we’d strike sparks and set ourselves on fire. Most likely we’d do both. Rip shreds off each other like we did after Eadu and then passionately come back together again. I… I don’t think I want that and I don’t think Cassian does either.”

Baze was silent as she watched the two men on the other side of the room. “They’re good for each other,” she said quietly. “Bodhi has the strength to match Cassian when he needs to but he has a… softness, if you like, that Cassian _needs_ and I don’t have.”

“You could,” Baze said in a low rumble.

“Maybe,” Jyn replied. “But I’d have to work for it, learn it again, and there’s no guarantee it would come. In the meantime, Cassian and I would be awful to each other one moment and good to each other the next, with the equal chance that it would work or end in fireworks.” She smiled at Baze. “This is better. I like seeing them happy and I’m sure I’ll find someone who better suits me.”

“You’re young to show such wisdom,” Baze said with such an air of amusement about him that Jyn had to laugh.

“One of the few things I show wisdom about,” she said dryly then she sobered again as they continued to watch the two men. “I don’t think Cassian ever expected to care about any of us.” She snorted. “I’m sure he never intended to. Or really wanted to. We were supposed to be just another job.”

“You made him care,” Baze said.

Jyn pondered that for a moment. “Maybe I helped but… I think it was you and Chirrut. You both got under his skin far quicker than I did. Chirrut in particular.” She gave Baze a sideways glance. “How does he do that? See so much when he’s blind.”

Baze chuckled. “A question many have asked. I cannot give you an answer. He would say it is the Force and perhaps he is right. Or perhaps it is simply because he can’t see that he has to pay attention in other, deeper ways.”

Jyn frowned and picked at the fabric of her trousers for a moment. “When he told us about… about the Force swirling darkly around Cassian… was he…?”

“Manipulating you?” Baze rumbled. He shook his head. “No. At least not intentionally. He was more concerned about Cassian than anything else. I’ve spoken to him about it. He is right to say that the Force gathers darkly around any creature about to kill but it wasn’t just that calling the darkness to Cassian.”

He didn’t continue and Jyn gave him a curious look at his silence. She looked over at Cassian and the gentle way he was fussing over Bodhi and gave a small huff.

“He hated himself for doing it?” she ventured.

Baze grunted. “He was not so far gone as to enjoy killing, even if he had accepted the necessity for it. Chirrut was trying to give him a reason not to do so.”

“Me?” Jyn said.

Baze nodded. “We both suspected you wouldn’t go after him but after your father instead. Cassian needed that reminder that Galen Erso was a father, not just a man reluctantly working for the Empire. He needed to see past the black and white of his world.”

Jyn grumbled at that. She’d been so furious with Cassian afterwards and she’d drawn out his fury in return. It hadn’t been pretty on either side. They’d both mumbled some awkward apologies to each other after Scarif and more or less agreed to let that little incident slide into the annals of history, never to be spoken of again between them. 

Baze rested his hand on her shoulder. “I am sorry that your father died, little sister. He was a good man.”

Jyn whipped her head around to stare at him with an odd sort of desperation. “You really think so?”

Baze nodded. “I do. He sent Bodhi to us, did he not? I do not think Bodhi was a random choice.” He paused and looked over to the man in question. “Nor do I think he was chosen because you father thought he was weak and easily manipulated. No, I think your father saw the strength in Bodhi and not only did he give the Rebellion its chance, he cared enough to give _Bodhi_ his chance to escape as well.”

Jyn followed Baze’s gaze over to Bodhi, who was now looking much calmer as he leaned into Cassian. In return, Cassian had one arm wrapped around Bodhi’s shoulders.

“He wonders why you have not asked him about your father,” Baze said quietly.

Jyn gave a soft huff. “I… I want to. I’m just afraid I’ll feel jealous. He got to see parts of my father that I never had a chance to know.”

“Then let him share those parts with you,” Baze replied. “He will do so willingly, even joyfully.”

Jyn contemplated that for a moment then she sighed and nodded. “Yeah. Okay. I will.”


End file.
